by Breezy Mellijor
Community Post College is Tiring So many things post college make community tiring. You work a job with longer hours, you might live in a new city with a new roommate, you’re starting at a new church, you have the list of daily chores (laundry, grocery shopping, making sure your apartment doesn’t become a garbage dump, etc.), and then there’s your social life...what?! How? There’s no time. How do you do it all? Welcome to adulthood. It’s a giant balancing act of responsibilities, obedience, and risks. You will be tired. You will not feel like going to one more church event where you have to awkwardly small talk about life. You will be able to think of a million other things you could be doing instead of getting coffee with that girl you met last week. And guess what? That’s okay. It’s okay to feel exhausted and want to give up. But here’s the thing, DON’T! Part of growing up and maturing is learning when to just jump in and say yes regardless of how you feel. This is something I am currently in the thick of. My introverted-ness will often lead me to say no because I “need time to recharge”, but I do believe Satan uses that to lie to us when we need community most. Be intentional with the people God has placed in your life, regardless of life stage or schedule differences, and make people as high a priority as anything else. God wants community for you as much as you do, so don’t be afraid to say yes even when you’re tired. Community Post College Takes Time Building community outside of college takes a lot longer than you might expect. Depending on your situation, you could be in a totally new place, be in transition for many of the years after college, or be learning how to adjust to what adulthood looks like. Many of my friends have mentioned that community after college has taken a lot longer than they expected. In college, what could have taken days or weeks, might take years in adulthood. That’s okay. That’s not meant to discourage or frighten you, but to set healthy and realistic expectations. If you’re a year or two out of college and haven’t built deep friendships yet, don’t give up! It has taken me 2 years to really feel like I had friends at my church. Because it takes longer post college, fight for community! Sometimes that means saying yes when you really don’t feel like it or inviting over a few people for dinner that you don’t really know or going to that church event where you might not know anyone. Be brave and patient. It’s not a race to find deep community the second you get out of college, even though it might feel like it. God is your greatest and closest friend. Let him comfort you during those seasons where it feels hopeless or like it’s taking way too long. His timing is perfect. There is something so exciting and equally terrifying about this season. Even though it’s easy to come up with a list of reasons that community post college is hard, it’s even easier to list the ways that God is faithful and good and kind and compassionate. He loves you and wants you to be in community. Trust Him to do what only he can do: build deep and rich community in the people around you. It’s probably going to look different than you think, but don’t we need that? So often I think I know what I need when God is the only one who truly knows. He uses community to shape us and teach us how to forgive and to carry us through the ups and downs and to teach us how to work through conflict and...the list could go on. Community post college is hard. It’s challenging, tiring, and takes time, but God is the one in control of it all and will give you exactly what you need when you need it. Ultimately, we only need Him, so run to him in this season and allow Him to do His work in your life.
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AuthorMay 22nd's post is from Mary Elizabeth Goodell. She lives in Ukrainian Village on the west side of Chicago and works for Hope Works Community Development. She is committed to working with and for the disenfranchised, particularly women who have experienced sexual exploitation and gender based violence.
BloggersWe'll post from a variety of voices of 20-somethings in the Windy City who are navigating life, work and relationships post-college. Archives
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