by Breezy Mellijor
I sat at coffee with the girl I’d met a few weeks ago through church and just kept thinking, “This is hard. I want to be at coffee with one of my best friends from school, not forcing conversation with someone I barely know.” Welcome to my sinful and selfish mind. But for some of you reading this, I’m sure you can relate. It’s hard to get to know new people, especially when it is so much easier with college friends who just “get” you. Making friends after graduation is hard, let’s face it. College is like its own little city (for some of you, it’s basically the entire city…) within a larger community. It’s fully functioning and operational. It’s easy to find people who are similar to you...you’re in the same stage of life, you join clubs or organizations that interest you and the people involved, you’re in class with others who might be in your same major. The environment you are in breeds community. This is not so after graduation. The mini communities produced in college dissipate and you need to be intentional about finding new ones. Sound difficult? It is, but there’s hope. First, let’s talk about a few ways community post-college can be hard: Community Post College is Challenging This has already been said but finding and building community after college is pretty challenging. There are numerous variables and reasons for this, but so many of the friends I’ve talked to about this have said the same thing: it’s surprising how hard it is to find community post college. A few reasons for this include
Something that has been a game-changer for me in my quest for community post college is living near people from church and just digging into the hard parts of being in community with people you don’t really know. Our church calls them “Intentional Christian Communities”, and they encourage you to move within a ten-minute walking distance of people from church when your lease is up. My husband and I did this with our two other recently married friends two years ago and it’s amazing to see what God has done in that time. We now have about 25 others from our church living within 10-15 minutes of us in our neighborhood in Chicago and we are doing life together. I don’t know them all very well and it hasn’t been an instant connection, as it often was in college, but I do believe that this is one of the reasons I feel like my community post-college is thriving. So, if you move to a new city, stay in the same one, or go somewhere with friends, don’t try to be all independent...it’s not how we’re meant to live. Move near people you know and those you don’t and dive in! To Be Continued Tomorrow...
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AuthorMay 22nd's post is from Mary Elizabeth Goodell. She lives in Ukrainian Village on the west side of Chicago and works for Hope Works Community Development. She is committed to working with and for the disenfranchised, particularly women who have experienced sexual exploitation and gender based violence.
BloggersWe'll post from a variety of voices of 20-somethings in the Windy City who are navigating life, work and relationships post-college. Archives
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